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I'm a children's author. Animals are a constant source of writing material for me. They are also my heart!

She Didn't Mean to Do it and Neither Did I!

>> Wednesday, February 24, 2010


Poor Maddie. On Saturday, she stayed in her crate all day. Since I keep Maddie's crate opened and just feed her in there, when Maddie's in her crate, something is wrong. We soon found out what. She began to throw-up Saturday evening...all night...and into Sunday. Since our vet doesn't have weekend hours, we had to take her to the emergency vet.

To the tune of $250 Maddie received IV fluids, anti-nausea medications, and more. We took her home with strict instructions to feed her soft foods for the next few days.

Long story short, Maddie got better. Night before last, she was bugging me to get up and let her out. I told her to lay back down because sometimes Maddie tricks me in hopes of getting a middle-of -the-night treat.

Well, this time, Maddie wasn't tricking. When I got up the next morning there were (not to be gross) seven soft piles of doo doo on the bedroom carpet. The soft diet worked well.

I decided to have my morning coffee before I got to the mess. Chuck was gone, so it wasn't bothering him any. As I sipped my coffee, I thought about ways to clean up Maddie's massive explosions. I noticed a small cardboard box on the kitchen table. I'll just use a trough and shovel the mess into the box I thought to myself. And that's what I did.

Then I threw the entire box into the garbage and got out the Spot Shot to finish the job.

Flash forward to last night. I was meeting with my sister-in-law (who provides bags and bags of crocheted scarves and hats for the homeless) and another friend who actually delivers the items. Anyway, my cell rang. The call went something like this:

Chuck: "Where is the cardboard box that was on the table."
Me: " Why do you need it?"
Chuck: " Because I have to resend it to Pfizer (where he works) tomorrow."
Me: "I dumped everything out of the box and put lots of poop in it."
Chuck: "YOU DID WHAT? That box included a special coded label and a memory stick"
Me: "I didn't see any label or memory stick in the box. All I left in was the bubble wrap."
That was our conversation. I was gone. Chuck was home....up to his elbows sifting through poop coated bubble wrap. Chuck was not happy.

He found his memory stick. He found his special coded label. Maddie's not in the doghouse. I am.
Pfizer's getting a box back that has a very special label on the front. The label has a strange color and new design. Fabreeze took care of the smell I hope. We won't talk about the smears.
Let's just say that Chuck is very creative and I'm sure future Pfizer labels will be designed with his "new look" in mind.

"Someday you'll see the humor in this," I told Chuck.

Chuck didn't laugh.
This is right up there with the time I accidentally gave away all Chuck's good clothes (and dirty underwear) to the Kidney Foundation. That's another story for another time. Suffice it to say I got piles of clothes confused.
HEY! Did you notice that PILES seems to be a common thread in my tales?

21 comments:

Parsley February 24, 2010 at 12:02 PM  

OH dear! Sad for Maddie and laughing at the rest of the story. Since I have 6 dogs, I am curious what her diagnosis was. (I have videos of my dogs today if you want to meet them.)

Hope she gets well soon.

Jan Mader February 24, 2010 at 12:35 PM  

The vet just thought she'd eaten something that threw her out of whack. Her stomach wasn't tender or destended at all. We agreed that if she had still been sick on Monday, I would have taken her to my regular vet for xrays. If she had gotten worse I would have taken her back to the emergency vet that night! I'm headed over to your site right now!

Bobby February 24, 2010 at 12:47 PM  

Glad Maddie is okay, piles of poo out of sorts dogs we know the feeling, when dogs come in on foster and you have no idea what they have been fed on its easy to give them upset tummies. Like the box story, well we can all do things like that.

Gloria February 24, 2010 at 12:52 PM  

Oh poor Maddie, and you, and of course Chuck! So glad Maddie is better, but going to be LMBO for a bit more! Can't wait for the clothes story!

Kat February 24, 2010 at 1:04 PM  

Oh my goodness, I am cracking up. You tell a good story. I could just see it all coming down!

Kas February 24, 2010 at 2:47 PM  

I am so glad she is ok, have had similar experinces myself.

Carolyn February 24, 2010 at 3:48 PM  

I'm rotflol here! What a yarn! Loved it, and the way you tell it. Glad Maddie is ok though. Is Chuck speaking to you yet? lolol

Missie February 24, 2010 at 4:00 PM  

I'm glad Maddie is feeling better and laughing like crazy about the box!
www.what-comes-next-net.

Honeygo Beasley February 24, 2010 at 4:41 PM  

OMGoodness - that's some story.

BOL!

lani February 24, 2010 at 5:15 PM  

LOL...shitty story but how funny ...I hope the dog is ok all in all

Benny and Lily February 24, 2010 at 7:07 PM  

Oh poor Maddie...jail, poopy...poor baby
Benny & Lily

~Kim~ February 24, 2010 at 8:30 PM  

Glad Maddie is okay!! But at least you still had the box, right??!! :-)))

TC February 24, 2010 at 9:06 PM  

Sounds like something I would do.
I had a pregnant German Shepherd and it was cold so I let ALL the dogs sleep in the house, we are talking HUGE dogs. The PG one evidently had to go and go and go and go...grey shag carpet....before the days of fabreeze...

TC February 24, 2010 at 9:08 PM  

Forgot to say I'm glad Maddie is a OK. Poor Chuck, poor you.....but it is hilarious.

Tweedles -- that's me February 25, 2010 at 12:02 AM  

You tell the bestest stories!

I am happy Maddie is better - and of course someday you may see Chuck make a little smile about the whole eppisode!
xoxoxo

Clive February 25, 2010 at 4:27 AM  

Greetings from Clive in Ireland! We saw your comment on Khyra's blog and thought we would pop over and say 'hello'!

Loved the story about Maddie and the poo! Glad to hear she's better now and we enjoyed the story no end!

take care
Clive and the NSLM

- drop over to us if you get the chance!

Maggie and Mitch February 25, 2010 at 4:40 AM  

We're so glad to hear that Maddie is okay!
Thank you for the morning smiles!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

soggibottom February 25, 2010 at 1:42 PM  

I see Maddie and Amie Soto Blossom have much in common... in their breed only :-)

Wish I had come over here sooner x x x

Wilma February 26, 2010 at 9:51 AM  

Hi Jan,
Thanks for visiting my blog. I was looking around on your's and I think you seem very cool. Seems like things out your way are very interesting and fun. I sure hope Maddie is feeling better, out of control pooping is no fun.I like to strategically place mine!

sandy February 27, 2010 at 12:49 PM  

Poor Carlos....what a job sifting through the piles....

Glad Maddie's doing better.

Hey...want some more fun (lots more than cleaning up poo), swing by and get in on my contest

katie March 20, 2010 at 10:02 PM  

Since we just spent a week dealing w/ our cavi's colitis and other gastro problems I can REALLY sympathize-poor maddie and poor you. But the part about the box really got me laughing. My brother has a similar "sick dog in the night" story, but it involved both shoes that he immediately put on to not step in the mess-the shoes were no help-YUCK!lol But we love them anyways. Glad she's feeling better!

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